I’ve lost my soul

I’ve lost my soul

Helping others to find themselves

And now that they are whole again

They have gone

Just when I found myself

They left at the best time

At the end of my steady decline

But now I am flying

Confident and alone

But leaving them behind

Wondering and asking

“Who’s this stranger before my eyes?”

 

I’ve lost my soul

In the wasted kindness

That I so freely bestowed

Upon the ungrateful ones

Whom I’ve gladly consoled

The one’s that don’t thank you

And give no further word

Up until now the return date

Of my kindness and it’s journey

Has still yet to be told

 

I’ve lost my soul

Fighting the useless battles

That I have fought

Wasted time thinking they were

Worthy causes meant to be saved

But I should have left them

Where I found them

Well and truly alone

After all not every battle

Is meant to be won

 

I’ve lost my soul

Trying to forget my past

The empty words of love

And broken dreams

By building new foundations

This time one’s meant to last

No more sand castles

That simply dissolve

But built to withstand

Rock steady and hard

 

I’ve lost my soul

Following my path

Picking up the loose pebbles

That needed a polish

Before being recast

A new road they will pave

Lined with flowers and weed free

No obstacles or hurdles

Laying in wait to trip me

 

I’ve lost my soul

Searching out my truth

Only to find that

It was never lost

It was still pure and proud

And within me all along

Why I searched for it

I do not know

Maybe some ‘friend’ I had

Had grounds to doubt me

But there it was, in full sight

Encircled by integrity

 

 

I’ve lost my soul

By bearing my all

With my simple honesty

Letting my words

Find listening ears

And reading eyes

From all corners

Of this globe

Ears and eyes that know of

And sense my nakedness

That most of my friends

Have not seen or heard

 

 

I’ve lost my soul

Seeking out a love that’s real

With no doubts or quashed hopes

Something that I can truly feel

Akin to my own values

And core beliefs

Only to establish

That it’s hard to find

All the while knowing

I am a good person

I am worth it, I am real

And ‘I’ am most definitely not

The ‘average’ kind

 

I lost my soul

In all these things

And yet she came back to me

With a heart full of hope

Of a life yet to be

Sharon Carter-Wray

 

(1stmay 2018)

 

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