Free me

I’ve tried so very hard

To please,

To do the right thing

But was it right for me?

I stared in the face of something ugly

But was too scared to turn away

So I kept on looking

Still trying to do the right thing

I tried to run, to walk away

But my life feels likes it been

Trussed up and entangled

I wanted so much

To scream out, run wild

But I was too afraid to hurt

Another’s persons’ feelings

Another persons’ pride

But why, when they spared no

Thought for mine?

I couldn’t pretend

That I could be brave

That I didn’t still feel

The hurt and the pain

It could have been just yesterday

And there it was being taunted

In my face

I know I am not over it

I still cared

The friends I thought I had

Have disappeared on the wayside

Now allies with my foes

It didn’t happen to them

It wasn’t their pain

So how could they know?

Why should they understand

Something so insidious?

So underhand?

I know I need to rise above it

I need to still grow

To rid myself of bad things

But the one that holds the key

Still has a hold of me

I know the time will come

But not how soon

The big confrontation

That lays ahead of my life

Will give me the answers

To all my questions why

And I need to know

 

Sharon Carter-Wray

(22nd February 1993)

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