It’s all about perspective. Sx ❤️
It’s all about perspective. Sx ❤️
“I was blessed with this gift, and it has never let me down, if I’ve made a bad choice it’s usually because I have ignored my gut instinct, when I should have known better”.
I have believed for a long time that not everything is worth fighting for, and I have spilt enough blood and wasted too much time already battling unwinnable or futile causes.
I say this is a gift, because I have the uncanny ability to be able to see through other people’s problems, and guide them on what the real issues are. I am able to explore different angles and perspectives, and untangle the real mysteries behind their problems. I have people who lean on me for this, but it isn’t something I am always thanked for, as not everyone has a stomach for my brutal candor, but it’s what they come for. They come to me for truth, and that’s exactly what I give them, and somehow, I seem to manage to get right down to the roots of the problem and at least open their minds to reason or a different level of understanding.
I never speak ‘off the top of my head’, and I am always able to back up what I say with good reason. It’s as though I go deep into the recesses of my mind and can draw on an experience from somewhere in my past, that is relevant.
Maybe that’s why I seldom confide in others, because somewhere I know the answer already exists in me, I just have to think it through. I firmly believe that in my life, no matter what the situation is, I have already dealt with far worse and come through it.
This way of thinking has kept me positive, and made me feel so much stronger. This is why writing is so important to me, this is my way of sorting through the muddle in my mind, and seeing it in black and white print. Writing gives me clarity, like solving a mathematical equation. It allows me to explore my thoughts, and to be picked up and carried away with them, so I can deal with my demons and dilemmas. From an early age it was a skill that gave me some form of comfort and expression, and it is one I cannot do without.
Intuition has protected me, prepared me and given me such an understanding of who I really am, and who others are too. But there have been times, I have mistakenly given others the benefit of the doubt, and have got burnt fingers for the privilege.
At least I now know to never ignore it again!
(31st December 2016)
I can think of so many occasions when my intuition has served me so well in the last few years. My ability to read between the lines and see behinds the scenes, has saved me from much unnecessary angst and misery. I have learned to walk away from people and situations that no longer serve me, or have no sense of feel-good about them.
I have steadfastly stuck by this, and in turn my state of mind and life have improved, my self-confidence and belief in my talents have blossomed and I actually feel quite happy.
I want and need for nothing that money can buy, and in my eyes, it’s a wonderful place to be. Sx ❤️
(Sunday 17th March 2019)
Today, I read the last letter I wrote to myself about 4 months ago. It is the second time I have done this, and I find it an invaluable means of bookmarking my life.
It also useful for measuring if anything has changed, got better or stayed the same. But it is more importantly, a reminder from myself about a period of time I want to move on from.
It might sound like a very simple, but writing an open and honest letter to yourself, is a difficult thing to do. It is hard to put real words to emotions or feelings, that can sometimes be so alien to us, and delving into our inner psyche and soul is not something to take on lightly. It forces you to acknowledge every aspect of your life, where you’ve been, your current situation, and where you hope to be; and is an opportunity to air it in a safe way.
You can discover so much about yourself and the reasons why you might behave a certain way or have a certain attitude. So, if you really want to know yourself better, write it down, the good and the bad, then take a good look at it, and really think about it. You will find answers, but you need to give yourself time, to absorb this new information.
Anyway, back to my letter, I read it this morning and I was quite overwhelmed by the contents. I remember at the time, I was so in need of nurturing, love and care, I was also in a lot of pain and pretty much lost and alone.
In spite of that, it was a very positive letter, just talking about my future, when I will finally move on from the existence I’ve had and still have now. It was about recognizing my acceptance of things that I can’t change, and the acknowledgement of the misery I had experienced, and the dreams I still have left.
It was powerful reading. I was being kind to myself for once. I smiled, and then eventually cried, as I read. It was a beautiful letter, penned by me, to me.
Only I know of the subtle changes that have taken place over recent months. I alone, have noted the true power of my self-belief, and my determination to bring about change.
So today I have been reminded, and have been able to measure, that emotionally and psychologically, I have advanced forwards, by quite a distance.
But physically, I am still waiting to move on to my new life. This is the one thing, for which I have absolutely no control.
(7th December 2014)
Thankfully on 17th April 2015, I finally got what I so needed, I moved into my flat and began the process of getting my life back together again! Sx ❤️
Silly I know, but it made me smile! Sx ❤️