I keep that beast inside

I have every right to be angry

I have every right

To stand here and beat my chest

Whilst screaming out fury

From the pit of my lungs

I have been lied to and cheated

I have been let down

Believed to be defeated

I have been knocked back

Pushed this way and that

But still I got back up

I have been abandoned

I have been bruised

I have been insulted

I have been abused

And still all I want is truth

I have been stifled

I have been blinded

I have been stunted

I have been haunted

By so many ghosts of the past

I have been verbally savaged

My whole body has been

Tortured, literally ravished

By more than just

The hands of a man

I have been labelled

I have been tainted

I have been shunned no end

I have been betrayed

By those calling themselves

‘Family’ and ‘friends’

They didn’t know

I’d already figured it

To be the end

 

I have every right to be angry

I have every right

To beat my chest in pain

But instead I stay silent

With the raging fury

Burning and boiling

From the inside out

But safely contained within

If I could write away this wrath

Then I surely would

But I fear that each word

That I dare to scrawl

Will burns holes upon the

Pages they are scribed

 

My contempt for feelings

I thought I had left behind

Like doubt, mistrust

And a sense of things

Not being right

Gave me all the reason

To rise up and fly

Words like envy and jealousy

Are the names of the

Ugly black birds that fly by

Up here I’m out of reach

No matter the anchors

That have been

Weighted and tied

Up here, I have no need

Of false-hearted words

I can see through

Many a disguise

 

I have every right to be angry

I have every right

To beat my chest and cry

Maybe it’s just as well

I keep that beast inside…

 

Sharon Carter-Wray

(Sunday 9thDecember 2018)

 

 

 

 

 

 

What if I told you

What if I told you,

That every time I see you smile

You cause a mini whirlwind

To go spiralling through my mind?

What if I told you,

That the mere thought

Of you not being by my side

Is enough for me to crumble

And fall by the wayside?

What if I told you,

That with your every kiss

My world is turned

Upside down

Into a heavenly bliss?

What if I told you,

That your very touch

You’re every caress

Sends me into oblivion

And spins me into

A delicious mess?

What if I told you,

That I long to see you smile

That I yearn to have you by my side

That I crave your wonderous kiss

That I hanker for your touch

What if I told you,

I want to feel the whirlwind

Share with you my bliss

Be made into a beautiful mess

Just by the thought of you

And you’re oh so tender caress

What if I told you,

You awaken my inner Goddess

Who’s lain, eternally waiting

For an answer to her prayers?

 

Sharon Carter-Wray

(Friday 7th December 2018)

 

Baby it’s cold outside!

Look at us

Just look at you and me

You’re the ‘lady’

And I’m ‘bold and brassy’

We’re not the same

As we used to be

Too many things

Have taken our

Innocent purity

You needed me

To show you someone cared

And I needed you

Because I needed

Someone to care for

Oh baby,

We’ve come a long way

Though we haven’t

Counted the years

After the first

But my dear

However else we change

Let’s not forget our youth

Or our simple

Unbending truth

I’ll always be your sister

As you shall be mine

I hope our friendship lasts

Forever and a day

In other words

An eternity of time

Trust is hard to come by

If we’re not of the same blood

But the least we have done

Is lighten each other’s load

Sister, I know

We will be

Where we want to be

And to each other

We shall be true

But please my dear

Don’t stop needing me

‘Cos I won’t stop

Needing you.

 

Sharon Carter-Wray

(23rd November 1985)

(First published January 2018)

I broke your spell.

Last night I broke your spell

And so now

I wish you luck in Hell

Because you’ll need it

Next time we meet

Last night I broke the chains

Of all that you had

Keeping hold of me

Last night,

I made a choice

To give up

So, I set myself free

 

Sharon Carter-Wray

(27thJune 1993)

Like gold

Just like the shiny bands

You like to wear

On your hands

I represent something precious

Something to behold

Though you may not

See my worth as much

To many I am priceless

A rare commodity

Something to possess

I may not always

Shine as bright

Or be jewelled with

Diamonds or gems

That sparkle in the light

But my inner beauty

Is indeed a true sight

Just like gold

I am solid, I am real

I am meant to last

Until you forge me

Into hot liquid

That will run

Though your grasp

So just like the bands

That adorn your hands

I am pure gold

Remember that.

 

Sharon Carter-Wray

(Friday 30thNovember 2018)

 

Three’s a crowd

The time has come

For me to be strong again

To summon up all my resources

In front of me

For too long

I have had trust in the wrong people

Those who would use my faith in them

Against me for their own gain

I have believed in these people

For the goodness I thought I had seen

But I was able to see their heart

Before it was too late

Before it was obscured

By false sincerity

I had believed what I heard

When they called me ‘friend’

I left a part of me wide open

So, they would always feel welcome

To share my heart

To share what was mine

 

I had not noticed

How my friends’ twin mate

Motivated by greed

Was getting greedier still

That he did not like

Our womanly liaisons

When we would make sense

Of all around us

De-mystifying any motives

He wanted the confusion

Of when we did not speak

He wanted to make me weak

He wanted to leave me in darkness

Surround me in his ignorance

With his army of gullible souls

He under-estimated the forces

I have of my own

He pooh-poohed the existence

Of my previous life

As if I were still foolish

As if my life had only just begun

The war is far from over

Yet no blood has been shed

It is a battle of wits

Of things that can be said

And so, I need summon my resources

For the fight that lies ahead

Because I know

I am on my own

And she is my friend

 

Sharon Carter-Wray

(23rdFebruary 1993)

 

Letter Home

Dear Mum and Dad

How are things at home?

My days up here

Are quiet now

I have found the peace

I yearned

I grow and learn

More each day

I feel better

For doing things this way

I walked away before

Just to turn and walk back

I thought I’d run away

But I hadn’t

In actual fact.

 

Sharon Carter-Wray

(27th April 1986)

 

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