Three’s a crowd

The time has come

For me to be strong again

To summon up all my resources

In front of me

For too long

I have had trust in the wrong people

Those who would use my faith in them

Against me for their own gain

I have believed in these people

For the goodness I thought I had seen

But I was able to see their heart

Before it was too late

Before it was obscured

By false sincerity

I had believed what I heard

When they called me ‘friend’

I left a part of me wide open

So, they would always feel welcome

To share my heart

To share what was mine

 

I had not noticed

How my friends’ twin mate

Motivated by greed

Was getting greedier still

That he did not like

Our womanly liaisons

When we would make sense

Of all around us

De-mystifying any motives

He wanted the confusion

Of when we did not speak

He wanted to make me weak

He wanted to leave me in darkness

Surround me in his ignorance

With his army of gullible souls

He under-estimated the forces

I have of my own

He pooh-poohed the existence

Of my previous life

As if I were still foolish

As if my life had only just begun

The war is far from over

Yet no blood has been shed

It is a battle of wits

Of things that can be said

And so, I need summon my resources

For the fight that lies ahead

Because I know

I am on my own

And she is my friend

 

Sharon Carter-Wray

(23rdFebruary 1993)

 

Letter Home

Dear Mum and Dad

How are things at home?

My days up here

Are quiet now

I have found the peace

I yearned

I grow and learn

More each day

I feel better

For doing things this way

I walked away before

Just to turn and walk back

I thought I’d run away

But I hadn’t

In actual fact.

 

Sharon Carter-Wray

(27th April 1986)

 

Yes, there is a man again…

Yes there is a man again

Funny how these pages

Always seem to know

And stranger still

I know not what

He really does for me

He is gentle

And oh so tender

He is soft

And he is kind

And somehow he provokes

Something in my mind

He comes and he goes

And always touches

Something in my soul

He seems so close

Yet somehow far

Maybe he possesses

A tiny piece of my heart…

 

Sharon Carter-Wray

(4thFebruary 1991)

A trip down Memory Lane

The promises that they made

Then suddenly, it’s all too late

They grew up

They grew apart

And when they said goodbye

They held the other dear

Inside their heart

Though tender in years

When they first met

It was the start of something

Neither would forget

The years rolled by

In swoops and swirls

Transforming – as they turned

Women from little girls

The years they tumbled on

And still they grew

Posting their thoughts

Across many storming sea

Mind keeping mind, company

Because together

They could not be

 

Sharon Carter-Wray

(8thJanuary 1993)

Gypsy on the move

Here, at the end

Of another road

Again reminded

Of what I call home

There is no great sadness

Or indeed glee

But there is a feeling

That I know I must leave

So this is it

Another empty room

A life packed in a dozen boxes

Ready to move on

The life seems fuller now

Containing more and more

Just as I have grown

Blinded in darkness

Until it’s enclosures have burst

Letting it’s colour be born again

Into a new kind of light

But something always

Is familiar still

The searching need

To resolve

To belong

To stay

To settle

To feel at home

A final resting place

That my worldly goods

Seek as I much as I

Would dry the well of tears

And fill the hollow pit

That cries out from inside

There is no great sadness

I knew it was sure to come

To leave a place

Where at least my light had shone

Breathed life

For the other to feel the glow

But now it’s time to move on

I know there is a new horizon

That I, me and all my

Worldly goods do surely belong

 

Sharon Carter-Wray

(23rdJanuary 1993)

Another empty hole

Still the tears rise and swell

Within my soul

To fill a bottomless pit

Another empty hole

Inside I feel the need

To explode and still I fight it

Control it, contain it, but why?

How else are they to see

What it is that unsettles me?

I would cry me a river

But it would have

Nowhere to flow

I would run away

But to where would I go?

I need to find my home

Here is not where I belong

I am not inspired

To sing my own song

I live packed away

In someone’s closet

I live by another persons’ rule

I feel stifled and misunderstood

After all these years

I am still a stranger

When really they should

Know me so well

But they don’t know me at all

So still the tears rise and swell

Within my soul

To fill a bottomless pit

Another empty hole

 

Sharon Carter-Wray

(27thDecember 1993)

For what it’s worth.

There is no passion in my soul tonight

So therefore,

I cannot write

The creases of my frown have reappeared

Which means

something is not right

I feel stifled, I need to be free

Please

Someone

Come rescue me

 

Sharon Carter-Wray

(28thJuly 1993)

Oh Adelaide!

She laughed and sang

And danced and played

Oh my sweet Adelaide, how

She picked daisies

To make a long chain

Each a memory

Of those old forgotten pains

 

She looked so pretty

Among the flowers and the grass

In her white summer frock

And her new straw hat

She dreamt as the trees swayed

The child in her smiled

At the chain she had made

 

She looked upon her lap

At the petals She had plucked

‘Maybe next time’ she thought

And gave a gentle sigh

Then crossed her fingers

And looked to the sky

 

Sharon Carter-Wray

(15thMarch 1986)

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