I’ve learnt how to fly

I’ve learnt how to fly

4 years ago, I walked away

From a life that had once

Held so much hope

But was destined

Not to last

It had a life span

Of time to be served

Too long for my liking

And not what I deserved

A painful lesson

I had to learn

But it was all part

Of life’s learning curve

I took my own sweet time

To walk away

Had no idea

Of the penance

I would finally pay

Just knew

I had to be saved

Or be chased

To an early suicidal grave

But 4 years have gone

And my oh my

How I’ve moved on

The bittersweet taste

Left in my mouth

Is no longer as strong

I’ve grown new wings

I have learnt how to fly

I’ve been taught

What to take with me

What to leave behind

I now understand

That bags emblazoned

Love and Friendship

Weigh me down

They don’t help me climb

But true friendship

Like air helps me rise

I’m going places

That is for sure

But you have a choice

You can either come with me

Or stay

right

there

At the door.

 

Sharon Carter-Wray

(Weds 17thApril 2019)

Happy Anniversary to me!  4 years since moving on…. Sx ❤️

I will not go back

I will not go back

I have been reminded

Of a time and place

From my not too distant past

A place of sadness

A home of shattered glass

A time of great illusion

And spoken words

Not meant to last

I was left almost broken

When I was most in need

Few had thought

I would move on

Few had wished

I would succeed

Few had little faith

Or belief in me

It is not for me

To prove them wrong

Their effect on me

Was not that strong

But the feelings

That came with it

Were not meant to lift me

Only bring me down

Now they are where

They justly belong

I am free of that torment

I am free of my fears

I’m done with crying

Done waiting for change

I’ve grown now

I have no further need

For that kind of pain

Love me or lose me

There is no in between

Cherish or adore me

Please just don’t

Test and tease

Beneath my skin

A silent rage is stirring

Itching to be released

So careful how you push me

Don’t try to do me down

I will not welcome memories

From a place where

I’ve just come

Sharon Carter-Wray

(Weds 3rd April 2019)

Coming full circle

Coming full circle

 

I am coming full circle

I’d thought I’d seen it all

I’d thought I’d served my time

But instead, each time it seems

There is something else new

For me still to learn

Something new

That when revealed

Blackens once colourful souls

 

I am coming full circle

I am a fool no more

Where once I might have

Given my heart freely

It now remains reserved

Unwilling to be touched

Until it has been heard

She knows her own worth

And she has only known

Such pain

So much so

She refuses to be hurt

In that same way again

 

I am coming full circle

But the fools come and go

Trying to deceive me

But none of them gain access

Because none of them

Really get ‘me’

They want to treat me

Like I am some whore

But I know they see

That I am a so much more

 

I am coming full circle

But this is just going

Through the motions

I know I will find the one

That is truly meant to be mine

But for the moment

I will play this game

But I will not

Suffer these fools gladly

Or believe my search

Is in vain.

 

Sharon Carter-Wray

(5th August 2017)

Untouched

Untouched

No one

Has ever truly touched my soul

Reached the part of me

Where the fire burns

Delivering my glow

They have used their feet

To walk circles around me

Drawing boundaries

Slow and steady as they go

Inhibiting my growth

Clasping my ambition

In a stranglehold

No one

Has ever truly reached me

Delved down

Into the corners of my mind

They have scratched

At the surface

Believing that was all

There was to find

Little did they know

My kind of beauty comes

From way down deep inside

No one

Has ever truly embraced me

In a way

That makes me feel divine

They have used their hands

To touch my body

And their fingertips

To spell out the lies

And hugged me close

With insincerity

Dancing behind their eyes

 

No one

Has ever truly known

What it is that is missing

Or what it is I seek

I’m a very complicated woman

But with very simple needs

 

Sharon Carter-Wray

(Tues 2nd April 2019)

 

 

 

 

 

I am my mothers’ child

I am my mothers’ child

As I myself, begin to grow old

And reflect on my mother’s passing

I realise just how amazing

She really was

And the legacy she left behind

She did not raise us to be

Weak-minded souls

Nor she did bear us

To not achieve

Or reach our goals

She gave us what

Our father lacked

Or seemed unable to bestow

She filled us with

Good advice,

And told us stories of old

That spoke of a lesson

Of being wise,

Said in a way

Only she could have told

The message always

Reached home

Maybe because there

Was always laughter

In her own special way

We learnt about life

So much faster

I’d like to think

That I’ve ripped a page or two

From my mamas’ book

I see myself in her so much

The way I handle things

My patience

Depending on my gut

Being independent

Honest and forthright

Having integrity

And being naturally kind

But it has taken a whole life

To understand

I am indeed my mothers’ child

Sharon Carter-Wray

(25th March 2018)

What sleeps inside you?

What is it that

Makes you smile?

That brings forth

The sun that shines inside?

What is it that

That soothes your mind

When all around

Are pushing you

To the grind?

Ignoring all your

Heartfelt cries?

What is it that

Make you weep?

Dredging up sadness

From so, so deep?

Baring wide secrets

You’d rather keep

What is it that

Makes you roar?

Breathe flames of fire

Ready to do war?

Because using words

Isn’t enough anymore

What is it that

That makes you love

Without question?

What is your true passion?

That drives you to

Do it now, not later

 

What is it that

That you need from me?

Do you need to know

What it is that I see?

I see you smile

Trying to hide your sadness

I see your tears

When you’re enslaved by madness

I know your secrets

That shield behind your roar

I have the desire

To help drive your passion

I have the right words

To calm and soothe

And enough love

For all of you

 

Sharon Carter-Wray

(Friday 8th February 2019)

 

 

Calling all readers!

The time has come for me to reach out to you, my readers around the world, and ask for you for some assistance.

It’s been over a year now since I created abeautifulmindonline, and in that time I have tweaked and played around with layouts, colours and fonts etc, and I would like to say that I am happy with the results so far.  But, I am not really the person that matters… you are!

I am always very grateful and thankful for everyone who reads and/or likes & comments on any of my posts and I also appreciate your time.

So my dear readers, I am asking if you would be willing to spend a few more moments of your time, just to add a comment or two about your visit to my site?  I am looking in particular to find out:

  • If the fonts, colours and layout work for you
  • If it’s easy on the eye
  • If it’s easy to find your way around
  • If any links etc. don’t work
  • Better tagging ideas
  • And any recommendations/suggestions for changes or improvements

I do hope that you can spare the time to participate with this request, as it will help me to get things right.thank-701985_640

Many thanks in advance, and I’ll look forward to seeing your comments.  Sx ❤️

 

I am the light, I am the darkness

I am the light

That adds the sunshine

To your day

When your skies turn

From azure blue to grey

I am the one who will

Hold you close

So you can feel my love

As I kiss & hug those

Dark clouds away

By your side I will be

When you have fallen

To your knees

I’ll be there without question

When I hear your lonely

Unspoken pleas

All I ask is

You do the same for me

 

I am the darkness

Casting shadows

In your mind

Leaving traces of regret

A constant reminder

Of a loss you can’t forget

No amount of sorrow

No amount of shame

Can bring back the time

You’d wish to reset

What’s been said

Has been said

What is done, is done

And because of that

You’re feeling cold

And all alone

If you had only chosen

Not to bring the night

I would have gladly

Shared my brilliant light

But instead you chose

To abuse its’ glow

And now you’ve lost

This beautiful soul

 

Sharon Carter-Wray

(Friday 22ndMarch 2019)

Inner child

Who is this little one

That has come from inside?

And why does she

So need to cry?

She is part of my road

That I know

But why does she seem

So sad and alone?

That secret child of mine

From so long ago

Is now prepared

To let herself be shown

She weeps and wails

And upon silent dreams

She sailed

And so aptly was

“Free spirit” so named

For so long

She has been my angel

Protecting me from

All that could hurt

Now she’s hurting too

But her tears help

To heal my wounds

And piece by piece

Part by part

She will reconcile the damage

To my mind and heart

For many years she has

Been within my shadow

Bearing the brunt of every blow

And never did she once allow

Her pain to surface or show

But now my inner child

My free spirit

Can take no more

And if, as the woman I am

I can truly survive this

Then my free spirit will

Once again glow.

Sharon Carter-Wray

(1st November 2003)

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