Admittedly, it hasn’t all been doom and gloom this last year, there have been moments when I have felt so happy, nothing could touch me. That happiness has come from different areas of my life, and it has spurred me on.
It is what I am ultimately seeking, a life that is calm, peaceful, nurturing and relatively stress free. I don’t think it’s really too much to ask for, but in order to achieve it, I know that I must address the balance and rid myself of the negative factors first.
The first step to that, is to stop taking the responsibility or blame for other peoples’ actions, and to leave them where they belong.
It is also fundamental that I don’t accept people disrespecting me, because it leads to my disrespecting myself, which is definitely wrong on all levels. As they say:
“Happiness is a state of mind, and not a destination”.
So, I am going to promise myself that each day, I do something that makes me ‘feel good in my soul’, which can’t be a bad thing!
(31st December 2016)
I am surprised that this was such a short entry, but it was to the point. I have felt some real differences in my day to day life, since I decided to shield or walk away from negative people and situations. In spite of health not being on my side for most of the last 2 years, and having many emotional issues to deal with, I have battled on in search of this one thing.
I am pleased to report that now at least my frame of mind is in a good place, and I would say quite whole-heartedly that I am happy. I closed many doors at the end of last year, and I have since managed to somehow maintain this upbeat attitude and mindset since then.
I know that I still have anger within me, but I also know that I am right to feel that anger.
I will no longer make excuses or be quick to forgive other peoples’ shortfalls, if they know, they should really know better.
After years of being made to feel worthless, I have finally realised my true worth, and no one can take that away from me. Never again, will I allow anyone to make me question my own integrity or make me feel bad about who I am as a person. Sx ❤️
Artwork by me: I am enough
Poetry: I keep that beast inside
(Tues 26th February 2019)