A long way from somewhere

Not sure quite where

I am heading

Or how long it

Was supposed to take

All I know is that

I’ve come a long way

And my soul still aches

 

I’m a long way from somewhere

A place, I’ve never been

Don’t know why I want to there

But it feels like where I belong

The road behind is dusty

My footprints laden by pain

Have all but gone

Swept up and away in a cloud

Never to be trodden again

 

I’m a long way from somewhere

Blinkers are off I can see the light

I sense the shadows of my joyless past

As they try to block my path

But like a true warrior I’m ready to fight

No more will they

Impede my stride

Or make my future look overcast

 

I’m a long way from somewhere

And I want to enjoy the ride

To not feel like a roller-coaster

So, I can relish the view

I want to see where I’m going

To not feel afraid

Make use of the solid foundation

My past has made

 

I’m a long way from somewhere

Not sure where I am

Of if from my path I have strayed

But wherever I am

I don’t want to look back

It is the right time

To be right here

And in spite of the hurdles

I’m still on track

 

Sharon Carter-Wray

(Wednesday 20th February 2019)

 

Published by Sharon Carter-Wray

I have been writing since I was 13 years old and I am now 52. It all began with a writing poetry project for school, and it has continued to evolve. It was a time that coincided with my brother’s seriously ill health, and his subsequent death from that illness; and writing was my way of dealing with that. As part of a ‘Life laundry’ exercise about 20 years ago, I destroyed a large part of my written work, mainly because I finally understood how it tied me to a place, that I never wanted to revisit again in my lifetime. It was also the mark of a turning point, recognizing my continual growth and healing. I find that writing is a way of releasing thoughts and untangling my complex mind, it always nourishes and makes me feel better. Even if sometimes my own words bring tears to my eyes. But I have noted over time, that the tears have become less. Even if the subject that caused them still hurts. In more recent years I have created and write for my own blog, called “Journey through a painful body and depressed mind”, as well as contributing to an online mental health site called “Mental Movement”. Both of these have witnessed my deepest and most desperate moments, whilst dealing with my own issues of depression and my failing physical health. I have written hundreds of poems over the years, expressing everything from joy, deep sorrow, bereavement to starting over again; it is definitely something I do when I need to restore balance. And they are written on all sorts of things, whatever was available to me at the time when the words chose to pour out of me; so they amount to quite a collection. I used to say that, “if anyone were to pick them up and read them, they would be holding ‘The book of my life story’ in their hands”. And that is still true to some degree today, but now I also express myself through my art & creativity, and the beautiful things that I create. A lot of what I am posting, was written as a teenager over 30 years ago, so please note the date at the end of each entry. However, in most cases, the contents are still very appropriate and ring very true today. I always knew back then, that I was wise beyond my years, and looking back now it’s almost as though I already knew what lay ahead of me. It’s as if my words were the very seed of my true vocation, as now I believe that writing is very much a part of my future and something I must do. I have only ever shared my written words with a few people in my life before, but now I feel brave enough to put myself out there and share with the world. I hope you enjoy. Sx

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