I’ve lost my soul
Helping others to find themselves
And now that they are whole again
They have gone
Just when I found myself
They left at the best time
At the end of my steady decline
But now I am flying
Confident and alone
But leaving them behind
Wondering and asking
“Who’s this stranger before my eyes?”
I’ve lost my soul
In the wasted kindness
That I so freely bestowed
Upon the ungrateful ones
Whom I’ve gladly consoled
The one’s that don’t thank you
And give no further word
Up until now the return date
Of my kindness and it’s journey
Has still yet to be told
I’ve lost my soul
Fighting the useless battles
That I have fought
Wasted time thinking they were
Worthy causes meant to be saved
But I should have left them
Where I found them
Well and truly alone
After all not every battle
Is meant to be won
I’ve lost my soul
Trying to forget my past
The empty words of love
And broken dreams
By building new foundations
This time one’s meant to last
No more sand castles
That simply dissolve
But built to withstand
Rock steady and hard
I’ve lost my soul
Following my path
Picking up the loose pebbles
That needed a polish
Before being recast
A new road they will pave
Lined with flowers and weed free
No obstacles or hurdles
Laying in wait to trip me
I’ve lost my soul
Searching out my truth
Only to find that
It was never lost
It was still pure and proud
And within me all along
Why I searched for it
I do not know
Maybe some ‘friend’ I had
Had grounds to doubt me
But there it was, in full sight
Encircled by integrity
I’ve lost my soul
By bearing my all
With my simple honesty
Letting my words
Find listening ears
And reading eyes
From all corners
Of this globe
Ears and eyes that know of
And sense my nakedness
That most of my friends
Have not seen or heard
I’ve lost my soul
Seeking out a love that’s real
With no doubts or quashed hopes
Something that I can truly feel
Akin to my own values
And core beliefs
Only to establish
That it’s hard to find
All the while knowing
I am a good person
I am worth it, I am real
And ‘I’ am most definitely not
The ‘average’ kind
I lost my soul
In all these things
And yet she came back to me
With a heart full of hope
Of a life yet to be
Sharon Carter-Wray
(1stmay 2018)
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