The new woman, is a poem I wrote back in 1984, when aged about 18 or 19, and it served a very important part of my life. Even though I was still relatively young at the time, it spoke of a time yet to come, and of things I was yet to experience, it is also the only poem that I have had published.
Looking back now, it’s almost as if I had foreseen a point in my future life, when these words would ring true, and they have so many times. And this is exactly where I keep finding myself now. So here goes:
The New Woman
It’s a brand new day
And a brand new life for me!
No more turning back the pages
To repeat an episode
That I have already played.
I can never be the person
That you want me to be
So love me for who I am
And what I hope to be
I can’t rectify my past mistakes
Or pretend that they were never made
I will give no more of me
Than you give to me
I do not need promises
As I shall make none
Promises are made to be broken
As dreams are made to bend and stretch
I will ask no more of you
Than you ask of me
Say, as you will
And do, as you will
For I shall expect to do the same
Come not to me for soothing
Unless you can return the same favour
After all, we are only human
And life is no easier
If we burden each other.
Sharon Carter-Wray
(1984)
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Published by Sharon Carter-Wray
I have been writing since I was 13 years old and I am now 52. It all began with a writing poetry project for school, and it has continued to evolve. It was a time that coincided with my brother’s seriously ill health, and his subsequent death from that illness; and writing was my way of dealing with that.
As part of a ‘Life laundry’ exercise about 20 years ago, I destroyed a large part of my written work, mainly because I finally understood how it tied me to a place, that I never wanted to revisit again in my lifetime. It was also the mark of a turning point, recognizing my continual growth and healing.
I find that writing is a way of releasing thoughts and untangling my complex mind, it always nourishes and makes me feel better. Even if sometimes my own words bring tears to my eyes. But I have noted over time, that the tears have become less. Even if the subject that caused them still hurts.
In more recent years I have created and write for my own blog, called “Journey through a painful body and depressed mind”, as well as contributing to an online mental health site called “Mental Movement”. Both of these have witnessed my deepest and most desperate moments, whilst dealing with my own issues of depression and my failing physical health.
I have written hundreds of poems over the years, expressing everything from joy, deep sorrow, bereavement to starting over again; it is definitely something I do when I need to restore balance. And they are written on all sorts of things, whatever was available to me at the time when the words chose to pour out of me; so they amount to quite a collection.
I used to say that, “if anyone were to pick them up and read them, they would be holding ‘The book of my life story’ in their hands”. And that is still true to some degree today, but now I also express myself through my art & creativity, and the beautiful things that I create.
A lot of what I am posting, was written as a teenager over 30 years ago, so please note the date at the end of each entry. However, in most cases, the contents are still very appropriate and ring very true today.
I always knew back then, that I was wise beyond my years, and looking back now it’s almost as though I already knew what lay ahead of me. It’s as if my words were the very seed of my true vocation, as now I believe that writing is very much a part of my future and something I must do.
I have only ever shared my written words with a few people in my life before, but now I feel brave enough to put myself out there and share with the world.
I hope you enjoy.
Sx
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Powerful writing, Sharon. I am amazed and impressed!
Wow, thank you. Such a lovely comment. 🙂