Why does my soul not rest?

Yet another sleepless night

Why does my soul not rest?

My body aches

For my mind

To be at peace

Long lasting peace

I find no joy

In my simple things

I am absorbed within deep thought

Of something or someone

Images of people,

Places, past events

Dance before my eyes

As I stare at nothing but the trees

The days go by so quickly

The nights are all so long

When at last

I lay upon my bed

Those pictures

Refuse to leave my head

So I toss and turn

As if to shake them out

Upon my pillow

I listen to the sounds

Of someone sleeping

And wonder why it is not me

But always pictures

Pictures of me

Of friends, of evenings out

Of conversations

The hurtful words

The punch line to a joke

A kiss on the cheek

A smile in the right direction

Then I wonder

What was I doing there?

What am I doing here?

Yet there are only more pictures

Fragments of a speech

That I have spoke

Memories of a scene

That I have played

They are always the same

Past lovers

Physical pain

Parental pressure

Playing this horrible game

So another sleepless night for me

Why does my soul not rest?

My body aches

For my mind to be at peace

Long lasting peace

Sharon Carter-Wray

(21stDecember 1985)

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