I owe you one!

To all the people in my life

Thank you

Keep doing, what you’re doing

Because of you…

I have grown

Sharon Carter-Wray

(10/05/16)

 

Hope

Each day I pray

That I’ve reach the point

Of another corner

To be turned.

Sharon Carter-Wray

(29/05/17)

 

Fast approaching nowhere

Life plays funny games

You may think

You have walked a mile

Until you look back and see

That you have only come

A few paces

We all aim for that light

At the end of the tunnel

But we do not know

That we are walking

In the wrong fashion

One step forward

Two steps back

So each time we look ahead

The light

Grows smaller and smaller

Until eventually

We are plunged

Into darkness

Sharon Carter-Wray

 

(15th March 1985)

 

I don’t want to forget about me

I have lived on a shelf

For far too long

Never, have I asked,

“Who put me there or why”?

But now that I do,

I am convinced it was down to me.

Either, for my own protection

Or because, it gave a better view

 

I have watched a lot of life unfold,

I have seen inside some empty souls

All the drama, the words, and

The bad decisions made;

The love, the lies, the deception

And my futile cries

I have seen a lot, but,

I have felt even more.

But each new event

Was bottled up, scrutinised

And then stored.

 

I can only see it now,

Because I came off that shelf,

It became a lonely place to be.

My God, it took that long,

For me to understand

That my life was really ‘missing’ me

I had played the game,

With grace and integrity

But like a bystander,

Watching from behind the scenes

I knew there would come a time,

When I had to take the lead

 

So with a good dose of self purpose, and

The great desire to save my own soul,

I have set out once again,

Intending to make myself whole.

My collection of memories

That had caused me so much pain,

Gave me the reasons and the courage

When it was time, to walk away.

 

Broken as I was, and fragile as I still am,

The most gracious thing I did,

Was to embrace all the blame.

My heart is still aching,

But my mind is so clear

Never will I go,

On that shelf again

Sharon Carter-Wray

(13th January 2015)

 

Feeling blessed

There have been many times

When I have felt nothing

But lost and alone

Even in times when

Many have surrounded me

I never understood the feeling

Or why I had such

Pain in my heart

But I have been lacking

Such a sense of belonging

Looking for something

That I will only find in myself

 

But now, I know

That I am truly blessed

Answers to my questions

Were always within me

Even at the moments

When I have been so weak

But a bright and beautiful

Future lay ahead of me

The horizon is looking

Hopeful and clear

The dark clouds of

Anger and regrets that

For so long have

Hung above my head

Are now nowhere to be seen

Instead, all I visualise is a

Much happier version of me

 

Sadness, had embraced me

So close and warm

Loneliness, was its company

So soft and forlorn

I made myself believe

That what I gave so willingly

Without a moments thought

Would somehow

Want to come back

But I was wrong, so very wrong

Only because I believed

That what I ‘wanted’

Was the same as my ‘need’

But now, I know that

I am truly blessed

For I want or need of nothing

That has a price

Or for anything in fact

That demands a sacrifice

 

I have no constraints

No shackles binding me

Unbeknown to my sadness

My cage was opened

And I am indeed free

With every breath, I take a step

To finding out

Who and what

I was really meant to be

My wings have healed

My resolve is strong

And my angel’s in heaven

Are there to encourage

And inspire me to carry on

For now, I know

That I am truly blessed

Because, I have my free spirit, and

My inner strength

 

Sharon Carter-Wray

(30th December 2017)

 

 

 

 

 

Let me feel it

Don’t talk to me of passion

Of your wants and needs

I don’t want to know it

Don’t speak it

Let me feel it

 

Don’t send me your private photo

The one meant to send me wild

I don’t want to see it

Don’t show it

Let me feel it

 

Don’t whisper of kisses

To my neck and all

Those intimate places

I don’t want to hear it

Don’t whisper it

Let me feel it

 

Don’t flirt with me

On the other end of the phone

It’s no good if I’m alone

Don’t do it

I don’t need it

Let me feel it

 

Don’t make promises

That you can’t keep

Don’t make them

I don’t need them

And I don’t want to be teased

 

So don’t share with me

What’s on your mind

I don’t need your words

Or your dirty thoughts

Don’t share it

I don’t need them

Let me feel it

 

Sharon Carter-Wray

(3rd March 2018)

 

 

Mistaken

Do not make the mistake

Of trying to find yourself

In another persons’ soul

Or through their eyes

It could lead you

To a darker place

Than the one you’ve

Already known

Sx

(20th February 2018)

The one that got away

Where do I begin?

I almost let him back in

He caused a spark

To the broken heart

He had once left behind

He won’t forget me

He can’t regret me

If only

He could still get me

The courage he lacks

Only forces him back

Away from the

Comfort I bring

He wants me back

But with no strings attached

As though I had

Bound him before

He is afraid of me

But he fears his own need

Much, much more

 

Sharon Carter-Wray

(20th February 2018)

 

Secret journeys

I have found once more

The inner child of my soul

That I had believed was lost

So many moons ago

I look upon my mirror

And see the reflections

Of my youth

Surrounded by the halo

Of her free spirit

Where did she really go?

Did she ever leave at all?

Was I really so different then?

Was she?

The halo, I still grasp within

Though faded might be the glow

That like my dreams

I will never let go

Still I travel

Upon the complex network

Of life itself

Willing me to reach for more

Just like the woman/child

That I still hold inside

 

And now

Sits the woman

That she became

Still many miles away

Upon her secret journeys

Drifting from one

Destiny to another

Still hoping to find the right one

Holding on to her dreams

As if they were made of glass

No tenderness too great

To save them slipping

From her grasp

 

And what of the dreams

She so blindly carries?

Do they still bear the same values

As before?

Or did they like her

Also grow?

 

Sharon Carter-Wray

 

(26th November 1992)

Cherish

Cherish the moments

That we share

Always remember that I care

I’ll soothe away your teardrops

And paint you a smile

I’ll hush your worries

With a lullaby

 

I’m going to be there

When you need to cry

I’m going to be there

When you feel you want to die

 

I’ll help you build your castle

And cry when your dreams fade

I’ll never go back

On the promise I made

I’ll heal your hurt feelings

And brush away your fears

I will always hold you dear

 

I’m going to be there

When you need to cry

I’m going to be there

When you feel you want to die

 

When you need a new dream

I’ll sail you away

When you want to find heaven

I’ll take you there

Believe in the power of my love

As I believe in you

And I’ll give you a rainbow

When you feel only blue

 

I’m going to be there

When you need to cry

I’ll always be there

When you feel you want to die

Sharon carter-Wray

(15th October 1991)

 

 

Thank you

Dear readers,

Today I thought I would take a moment to say thank you, to all of you who have visited  ‘My kind of beautiful’, and have read and/or left likes or comments.

I want to you know, that I really appreciate you taking the time to read my words, which are a very fundamental part of my being.  Your interest and support has been fantastic, it has been very encouraging and makes me feel braver every day.

I would welcome any feedback about my work or the site in general, because it all helps to keep me moving in the right direction, as I grow and develop this site.  So please feel free to share your thoughts with me.

So thank you all so much, you have no idea just how truly blessed I feel!

Sharon Carter-Wray

 

The long road of life

How little I know as a child

How long this road I tread would be

Never once did I ever imagine

That I would stand so tall

And look down on little ones

So dear to me today.

 

This road of my life

Has been filled with

Many holes, many ditches

Many cracks and many faults

All of which

I have learned to avoid, walk round,

Fall into, trip over

To make me the woman

That I am now.

No one else has walked

This very same road

But I, and I alone

 

As a child, with eyes young and wild

Would I have trodden the same path,

If I had known what lay ahead with every step,

Knowing that one day

I would arrive

Right here,

With still many miles

Of my road to go?

 

My feet have never grown tired

And my head and heart, not weary

Because in my mind’s eye

My road will come to no end

Until I stop walking round those ditches,

Stepping over the faults

And avoiding the cracks

That lay before me

 

I had not realised

That unless I face these obstacles

And not walk with

Open blind eyes

This long road of life

Will get no shorter

But the potholes will

Become deeper.

Sx

(20th February 1990)

Leaving you

Leaving you

Meant I could

Find myself

 

Leaving you

Meant the end

Of nothing good

 

Leaving you

Meant I had

Found my strength

 

Leaving you

Meant at last

I chose myself

 

Leaving you

Meant I was

Finally free

To be the woman

I was meant to be.

Sx

(19th January 2018)

Voices from the heart

Come to me good spirit

Break this spell

There’s no charm left

In this wishing well

I gave it no pennies

I dropped only pounds

But alas the paper

Makes no sound

 

There is a man

I have wanted so long

Will you good spirit

Tell me where I went wrong

He’ll not come back

Though I think

He holds the key

Tell me, is he the one

That can set me free?

 

I have done my wrongs

But, I am paying the price

Will this forever be the

‘Story of my life’?

 

I try so hard

But it does no good

Is he still in my grasp?

Or is he my past?

 

The dreams I had were

Short and sweet

Of how and when

My love and I did meet

 

My dreams are only questions now

Mainly filled with

Whats and whys

Because I know not

The reasons

I do nothing

But cry each time

 

Good spirit

Does he laugh at me

For being some fool

Having no sense

But giving airs as if I do?

 

Is he making it harder for me

Because of previous rejection?

I had wanted him so much then

And crave him still

But I fear his once desire

I may have killed

 

The pain I go through

For the love of one man

Is it really worth it?

I have shed my tears

And felt the usual sting

In my heart

And still I go on

 

The memory though bad

Is still too sweet to forget

Oh spirit

Help me to decide

Do I go on?

Or do I break my stride

And turn away like he?

 

We hurt each other’s pride

We did each other wrongs

But how do we forgive

When we don’t want to apologise?

 

The story still goes on

With sorrowful looks

And silent words

But a light still burns inside

Keeping those feelings alive

Sx

(1st April 1986)

I’ll know

I do not wish to know

What love really is

To have it defined in words

Would surely remove it true value

I’ll know what love is all about

When it comes to me

No sooner, no later

Maybe now, maybe then

Who am I to wait for it?

Or ask when?

I’ll know when my heart explodes

Sending tiny pieces glistening

From the inside to the

Outside of my soul

At the mere thought

Of being near the one I love

I’ll know when my days are filled

With a pure need to be with him

And my nights lonely dreams

If he were not there

I’ll know when my free spirit

Is no longer frightened

Of being shared

And my inner strength

Fears not being looked into

Through the windows

Of my sparkling eyes

I’ll know when I have no need

To ponder his need of me

And more so

When I seek no answers

For my silent questions

I’ll know when making love

Is not enough for me

To feel truly close to him

Because I’ll know

There will so much more

To be close to

I’ll know when it happens

For I’ll never ask myself

How long he’ll stay in my life

Because one day I will look back

And it would have already happened

So no words can define

What love is to me

Because when it comes

I’ll know

Sx

(15th January 1991)

Direction

I don’t know

Where I’m running from

Or where

I’m running to

But I always seem

To stop halfway

Close my eyes and turn

I always seem to run away

From what I want to run to

Sx

(23rd July 1986)

Hope…

I saw this only a few days ago, and it sums up just how I feel about creating this site perfectly.  However, it would be even better, if I could achieve that without dying first!

Sx

All I know….

Not quite sure what

Actually brought

Me to this point,

What if anything

Was the final straw

All I know is that

There has been a

Great sadness gripping

Me for the longest time

 

There are no

Marked anniversaries or

Reminders that

Spring to mind

That should make

Me feel this way

All I know is that

This feeling is clinging

To me like a lost soul…

Desperately willing me

To breathe

 

Sharon Carter-Wray

(12th October 2017)

 

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