Straight from the heart: 23. A new dawn

A new dawn, a new day, a new year and hopefully a new life…

At last, the start of a new year.

Heaven only knows how desperate I was to leave the last one.

I haven’t made any resolutions as such, but there are some things, that I definitely want to leave behind.  I am not planning on giving up any habits as such, because I have a firm philosophy that

“Everyone should have at least three vices for a happy life”. 

Unfortunately, most people automatically think of a vice as something that is bad for you.  But to me, a vice is:

“Anything that gives you pleasure and makes you feel good in the soul”  

Vices

And yes, a vice could be drinking, smoking, eating chocolate – the ‘usuals’.  It could be cutting the crusts off from your bread, because, you feel it makes your sandwich taste better.  A vice could even be that you like to fit in an extra Pilates class, when you should be doing something else.  Or maybe, that you like to lock the bathroom door, and have 1/2 an hour of peace and quiet, whilst you indulge in bubbles, candlelight and music.

Whatever it is, it may be bad for your health in one way, but it can be positively good for your mental and spiritual health in another.

Life is too short

I learnt for real a while back -having lost many close family members, that life really is too short.

• Too short to deny yourself things that make you happy.
• Too short to waste time having pointless arguments that lead nowhere.
• Too short to get stressed out over stupid things, that really shouldn’t be an issue.
• Too short to waste precious time falling out with people, just to carry unnecessary anger around.
• Too short to let the wrong people stay in your life, when you know they just simply don’t belong.
• Too short to keeping fighting for things that are not worth fighting for.
• Too short to waste time worrying about or regretting things that you cannot control or change.
• Too short to fret about debts, that are really insignificant in the overall scheme of things.
• Too short to ignore the things that really matter.

The list can on, but this is just a few of the things that I believe and that matter to me.

Too much space…

I have allowed some people to take up too much space in my life, and they have not cultivated their plot, so it has become overgrown with weeds that are deep rooted.  It dawned on me a short while ago, (whilst having a face to face with myself in the mirror,[1]) that for a long time my life has not been about me.  It has been about other peoples. It’s been about my family and my friends, about their unhappiness, fears, anger & their frustrations; their wars, their problems and their issues etc.

Letting them go!

Having recognised this painful truth, and as much as I may love them, some of these people have done me more harm than good, and they need to go or have their role reduced.  They have often been a huge drain on my resources, almost making me topple under the weight of their burdens.  I have allowed them to take so much time away from me, forcing me to rush through ‘my’ day, never having time to sit and reflect on my own concerns.  So now, one thing I know I can do to improve my health and my life, is to start letting them go; in order to reclaim my time back.  It is definitely a new dawn…

So, I have decided that this year, is going to be ‘MY’ time.  I will spend more time focusing on the things that make me happy, or feel good, and really look after myself and my needs.  One thing I know for sure, is that I will no longer spend time with people, who have no time for me.

I just want to laugh, to dance and sing!

I am fully prepared to embrace this new year, and I am actually excited by the many possibilities that lie ahead!

Sharon Carter-Wray

(1st January 2015)

Update:

Much as I was so determined 4 years ago, ‘the update’ is I have to confess, that I am still guilty of holding on to some people/things for far too long.  Got my fingers burnt again flying to close to the sun, but this time I already had my eyes open, so I knew what was coming.

In the last 18 months my integrity has been tested, by many who were supposed to be close family and friends.  They have also tested my loyalty and my patience, to such a degree, I have been forced to turn around and walk away from them; so another update to my social circle.  I have zero tolerance for insincerity, that I know, and at times I am so aware of my solitude.  But I would rather have that, than be drowned in a sea of negativity, weighted down by someone else’s bricks.

But in spite of all that, I am a much happier person for it.  And even though, I am soon to be 54, life still has many more lessons for me to learn.  And no doubt a few more mountains for me to climb… Sx ❤️

Links to: I am enough

[1] Face to face in a mirror, an exercise I do on a regular basis and recommend to anyone who is going through any kind of emotional crisis, when you lose sight of who you really are.  It’s not easy to do at first, because it something quite alien to us.  But once you start to practise it, you begin to see yourself in a different way, and are able to give yourself a “pep talk”.