Just another box

Just another box

So many times

I have searched

And sorted

The corners of my mind

Rearranging pieces

To find a better fit

Attempting to create

A different picture

That is far

From the truth

Brightly coloured

Shards of glass

Though pretty

Still draw blood

Flaunting my mistakes

In spite of

My wearing gloves

They did not come

From a place of love

So many bad things

Have been packed away

In boxes labelled

‘Closure’, ‘What the Hell?’ or

Simply ‘Not today’

Boxes, that I hope

I will never reason to

Ever open again

 

Sharon Carter-Wray

(Friday 17thMay 2019)

Link to: Life laundry

 

 

I am enough

I am enough

I am enough

I do not need to be told

No man will complete me

No money will

Make me whole

 

I am enough

As I stand here

So mighty, so tall

Many have tried

To break me

Many more have failed

Thinking I need them

To blow wind in my sails

 

I am enough

I have nothing to prove

And just as equally

I have nothing to lose

 

I am enough

See that I am a Queen

For that is whom

I have become

I need no crown

No sparkly jewels

I am armoured plated

By life’s unfair rules

 

I am enough

I am strong and proud

And like a true warrior woman

I will shout this out loud

Sharon Carter-Wray

(6th January 2018)

I am enough artwork

 

Damaged

Damaged

No one can see

The real damage

That has been done to me

I do not wear it

Boldly on my sleeve

I am not looking

For kindness

Or empathy

I know who I am

It’s not what I need

But just because

You can’t see my pain

Doesn’t mean

It isn’t there

 

Sharon Carter-Wray

(Weds 24thApril 2019)

I’ve learnt how to fly

I’ve learnt how to fly

4 years ago, I walked away

From a life that had once

Held so much hope

But was destined

Not to last

It had a life span

Of time to be served

Too long for my liking

And not what I deserved

A painful lesson

I had to learn

But it was all part

Of life’s learning curve

I took my own sweet time

To walk away

Had no idea

Of the penance

I would finally pay

Just knew

I had to be saved

Or be chased

To an early suicidal grave

But 4 years have gone

And my oh my

How I’ve moved on

The bittersweet taste

Left in my mouth

Is no longer as strong

I’ve grown new wings

I have learnt how to fly

I’ve been taught

What to take with me

What to leave behind

I now understand

That bags emblazoned

Love and Friendship

Weigh me down

They don’t help me climb

But true friendship

Like air helps me rise

I’m going places

That is for sure

But you have a choice

You can either come with me

Or stay

right

there

At the door.

 

Sharon Carter-Wray

(Weds 17thApril 2019)

Happy Anniversary to me!  4 years since moving on…. Sx ❤️

I will not go back

I will not go back

I have been reminded

Of a time and place

From my not too distant past

A place of sadness

A home of shattered glass

A time of great illusion

And spoken words

Not meant to last

I was left almost broken

When I was most in need

Few had thought

I would move on

Few had wished

I would succeed

Few had little faith

Or belief in me

It is not for me

To prove them wrong

Their effect on me

Was not that strong

But the feelings

That came with it

Were not meant to lift me

Only bring me down

Now they are where

They justly belong

I am free of that torment

I am free of my fears

I’m done with crying

Done waiting for change

I’ve grown now

I have no further need

For that kind of pain

Love me or lose me

There is no in between

Cherish or adore me

Please just don’t

Test and tease

Beneath my skin

A silent rage is stirring

Itching to be released

So careful how you push me

Don’t try to do me down

I will not welcome memories

From a place where

I’ve just come

Sharon Carter-Wray

(Weds 3rd April 2019)

Untouched

Untouched

No one

Has ever truly touched my soul

Reached the part of me

Where the fire burns

Delivering my glow

They have used their feet

To walk circles around me

Drawing boundaries

Slow and steady as they go

Inhibiting my growth

Clasping my ambition

In a stranglehold

No one

Has ever truly reached me

Delved down

Into the corners of my mind

They have scratched

At the surface

Believing that was all

There was to find

Little did they know

My kind of beauty comes

From way down deep inside

No one

Has ever truly embraced me

In a way

That makes me feel divine

They have used their hands

To touch my body

And their fingertips

To spell out the lies

And hugged me close

With insincerity

Dancing behind their eyes

 

No one

Has ever truly known

What it is that is missing

Or what it is I seek

I’m a very complicated woman

But with very simple needs

 

Sharon Carter-Wray

(Tues 2nd April 2019)

 

 

 

 

 

I am the light, I am the darkness

I am the light

That adds the sunshine

To your day

When your skies turn

From azure blue to grey

I am the one who will

Hold you close

So you can feel my love

As I kiss & hug those

Dark clouds away

By your side I will be

When you have fallen

To your knees

I’ll be there without question

When I hear your lonely

Unspoken pleas

All I ask is

You do the same for me

 

I am the darkness

Casting shadows

In your mind

Leaving traces of regret

A constant reminder

Of a loss you can’t forget

No amount of sorrow

No amount of shame

Can bring back the time

You’d wish to reset

What’s been said

Has been said

What is done, is done

And because of that

You’re feeling cold

And all alone

If you had only chosen

Not to bring the night

I would have gladly

Shared my brilliant light

But instead you chose

To abuse its’ glow

And now you’ve lost

This beautiful soul

 

Sharon Carter-Wray

(Friday 22ndMarch 2019)

Will you catch me if I should fall?

Will you catch me

If I should fall?

Or would you just let me

Tumble down to the floor?

Would you open the door

When in my need

I came to call

Or would you hide

within the dark shadows

And deny me?

Would you open your ears

And your heart

If I came to air ‘my’ pain?

Would you listen to understand

Or with the intent

To dismiss or blame?

If I bared my soul

Open wide to you

So, you could step right in

Would you accept the invite

Or hold back and refrain?

Would you pass the threshold

Or simply just peer in?

If I share with you

My deepest thoughts

And highest dreams

Would you encourage

Or just mock me?

If I came to you

In need of love

Would you hold me dear

And cherish me?

Could you give me

What I need?

Or would you turn your back

And pretend you hadn’t seen?

You see, to you

I have become invisible

But yet you still expect me

To be the same

How can I still place

My trust in your hands

When you no longer care?

Or ask you to nurture my heart

Or believe and support

All that I stand for?

When I don’t believe

For one moment

That you’d catch me

If I should ever fall?

 

Sharon Carter-Wray

(Mon 4th February 2019)

I left you, for me…

Do not for one moment

Feel proud

For what you’ve done

And do not believe

That you have somehow

Reduced me

You do not have that power

Just as you cannot be

The master of me

 

Don’t think for a second

That your insincere words

Or idle gossip

Has left me damaged

Or wounded me

My skin thickened

When I saw sense

And I began to self-heal

 

Do not be mistaken

In believing that

You,

Walked away from me

Think again

Who really took

That first step away?

Was it you, or was it me?

Whose back is turned?

Who do you no longer

Hear from or see?

 

Do not be fooled

If you think you have won

I have not stopped

I’ve only just begun

I called you out

A long time ago

I recognised your

Bitter & twisted soul

 

So, though you may believe

That I am lost without you

That I am lonely, at odds

Ill at ease

Just ponder this…

I-left-you… for ME.

 

Sharon Carter-Wray

(25thJanuary 2019)

 

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