Inner child

Who is this little one

That has come from inside?

And why does she

So need to cry?

She is part of my road

That I know

But why does she seem

So sad and alone?

That secret child of mine

From so long ago

Is now prepared

To let herself be shown

She weeps and wails

And upon silent dreams

She sailed

And so aptly was

“Free spirit” so named

For so long

She has been my angel

Protecting me from

All that could hurt

Now she’s hurting too

But her tears help

To heal my wounds

And piece by piece

Part by part

She will reconcile the damage

To my mind and heart

For many years she has

Been within my shadow

Bearing the brunt of every blow

And never did she once allow

Her pain to surface or show

But now my inner child

My free spirit

Can take no more

And if, as the woman I am

I can truly survive this

Then my free spirit will

Once again glow.

Sharon Carter-Wray

(1st November 2003)

Cry baby

I feel like crying

I don’t why

I haven’t enough bricks

To finish my castle in the sky

 Sharon Carter-Wray

(14thApril 1986)


Why should it be

That while I feel so happy

My sadness still

Overshadows me?

This is what I wanted

This is what I had

For so long prayed

And now that I have it

I feel so dismayed

Tears from my

Oh so deep well

Rise into my eyes

If I should be so happy

Why do I have

The need to cry?

Sharon Carter-Wray


(9thJanuary 1991)


A brief history… Where it all began – July 2011

Hey there,

Let me introduce myself to those of you that do not already know me.  My name is Sharon, and I have just recently turned 46; I have been married for eight years; I have no children of my own, but I do have 2 cats, 1 dog and a very well loved and cuddled teddy bear, and all have proved to be absolute lifesavers at various times in my life.  Sixteen years ago, I lost one of my brothers, and then two years ago, two months apart, I lost my mum and one of my sisters.  Since then, life really has not been, and will not be the same again.

You have everything in you

I wouldn’t like to state a time and date, when my depression really began, but I do know it was well before it was diagnosed, just over 8 years ago.  When I was told what the problem was, I was completely shocked, and no doubt said and thought the same things as many others before me “depressed?  I’m not depressed I am just tired and worn out!” I hadn’t realised it at the time, but later when I had a chance to really review my life all the signs were there, they had been for years, I just hadn’t seen them.

I had continued to be hard working, loyal, aspiring and always looked for new challenges.  I was Sharon, the one who would roll up her sleeves and just get on with it, without complaint.  All the time I was being “Super Woman”, my body and mind were slowly shutting themselves down, bit by bit, completely burnt out, until one day – enough was enough.  So the person that everyone knew as being a rock, confident and out-spoken protagonist dissolved in to a pile of sand, broken pieces so small; that a world full of glue could never stick back together again.  I could never be fully restored.  People close to me had no idea what had hit me, and had no understanding whatsoever.  All they could see, was that the person they knew was somehow no longer there.

A brief history
Where it all began… I believed

To be honest, I was eventually glad, I was thankful for having the opportunity to be released from my life and fall apart.  I no longer needed to seek permission to feel and think the way I did.  I was being given a rare chance to get to the root of myself and figure out what went wrong and why.  But more importantly, I was being given time to re-assess absolutely everything in my life, and this is still on-going.  The end result of starting to find some of the keys was that I viewed my family and friends in a very different light, and then I withdrew into my solid, tranquil shell.  A place, where no one could find or touch me, unless I wanted them to – the visits were few and short; and I stayed there for quite some time.

For a long period of time, I felt useless, damaged, deflated, dysfunctional, I was a heap, and I knew that I would need every ounce of strength that I could muster, to repair and rebuild.  I have learned so much more from my self, about myself.  I have learned from other people in the same sized boat, and I know there is still more knowledge and understanding to come.  But more importantly I had to learn how to heal myself, and that is where my story begins.

Sharon Carter-Wray

(8th July 2011)

(Where I used to be)

Facing reality

And even though

Good health

Is not on my side

My face at least

Wears a genuine smile

Sharon Carter-Wray


(17th April 2018)


What freedom means to me

3 years ago today

I started my life over

My mind returned

Back to a time

When I was young

And starting out for new

With fresh eyes and

Anticipation in my veins

To begin a life on my own

Void of anyone’s reins.


3 years ago today

I left a life behind

That had suffocated me

By it’s strangling out

The last tolerant breath

I had withheld

The one that had

Finally woken me up

That made me realise

Enough was finally enough


3 years ago today

I woke with hope in my heart

I was looking forward

To the new life

I was about to start

I knew it would not be easy

But I had to try

And in spite of my illness

Knocking me down

Today I still manage to fly


3 years ago today

I think on the life

I once had

And the damage that man

Caused to my mind

I may have looked broken

But I was nothing

Of the kind

I didn’t need convincing

That I was right to say goodbye


3 years ago today

All that I had lost

That had been absorbed

In another’s storm

Returned to me

Undamaged and whole



3 years ago today

I wrote myself a new story

With many blank pages to fill

And chapters made of hindsight

Penned with ink

Made from old cried tears

That no longer sting


3 years ago today

I know, I did indeed

Take a chance

To choose my happiness

Instead of his

But if I hadn’t

These words

Would never have appeared

This rose

Would never have bloomed

If I hadn’t

I wonder if

I would still be here.

Sharon Carter-Wray


(17th April 2018)

Happy anniversary me, you did it!

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