Writing challenge

I was asked to take part in this writing challenge around May/June 2018, and I have to confess that I cannot find the information about the person who nominated me.  I am assuming that he is no longer on this site, and having checked other nominee sites for their response, I have not found anything there either.  It appears I only printed off the last page of his post, which didn’t include his details, and for that I sincerely apologise.

Life got in the way last year, but I always had it in mind to do this, so here goes:

Firstly, I would like to thank the person who nominated me, if you are seeing this please respond so I can thank you properly.  I took it as huge compliment to be invited to to be part of such a challenge, and it certainly made me think.  It was just as hard coming up with responses for these 5 questions, as it was to create 5 new ones.

  1. Where is the most inspiring place I have ever visited?

India

I have always had a fascination with India, but for some reason it was one of those places I never thought I’d never get to.  But literally by chance on the return trip from another holiday, flights were overbooked and as a result we were given 2 x return flights to anywhere the airline went.  And I made the most of the opportunity, and went to the place of my dreams, flying first to Delhi and then on to Goa.  We were staying overnight before our connection the next day, and in the that time we took in as much as we could.

Delhi, is an amazing and overwhelming place to take in, and emotions ran from being in awe of the city to feeling sadness, when seeing how people really had to live.  Seeing how families would maim their own to send them begging from tourists, was not an easy pill to swallow, and it was difficult to un-see.

As soon as you enter the airport, you are struck by the sheer number of people; and when you leave the airport and enter the city, not only is it people, but cars, tuk-tuks, cows, goats, elephants, mopeds and more.  It was no surprise to see mopeds all fully stocked to the hilt, with half a dozen passengers including babes in arms, as well family animals.

The noise hits you with a vengeance, the various smells and aromas certainly tickled the senses.  Delhi is a wash of vibrant colour, from the clothing to the monuments, it was so much more than I imagined, and I am so glad I was able to visit.  But for me, one day was enough, the place was far too busy for a restful break.

I did return to India 3 more times, but went directly to Goa which is a much quieter and calmer place, with a beautiful beach.  That’s the place I fell in love with.

  1. What do I perceive to be my greatest asset?

Integrity

I have to say that it is difficult to choose only one!  I guess I am most proud of the fact that in spite of whatever has happened in my life, I have remained a good, decent, grounded and honest person.   But integrity- doing the right thing regardless, for me is everything.  I hate to see inconsistency in peoples’ behaviour, when it is determined by whether they can be seen or not.  And for me it is the basis as to whether I can truly trust someone, so in turn that’s who I am, I will always do the right thing.  I feel quite confident that most people I know would vouch for me on this.

  1. Who, above anyone else, could I l not live without.

This is a really tough question for me to answer, because I have already lost the people I would name.  I have become so self-reliant, because I have been let down too many times without a second thought.  I have felt this sense of detachment from so many people including family over the years, so I keep my circle very tight.

However, I have a handful of friends who are very dear to me, and I love wholeheartedly.  Even though we are not in each other’s pockets all the time, their existence, is not only important but really matters to me.

 

  1. What drives me to publish content on WP or other platforms?

I have discovered my voice and creativity again, and this time I want to be seen and heard!

The very first blog I created ‘Journey through a painful body and a depressed mind’, was my way of releasing how I felt in the depths of depression, and the full onset of Fibromyalgia and other conditions.  It was not a happy blog, but the intent was to shed light on a subject that was not readily discussed.  It was very raw, honest and personal, and I needed to do to it, because it allowed me to move on.  It eventually came to a point when I looked back at what I’d written over the years, and could see the sadness, anger and agony I’d been in; that’s when I knew I had come an extremely long way.  It was no longer who I was or wanted to be, and for a very long while I stopped writing.

It is very powerful medicine for me, and has helped tremendously with my healing process.  For years I had written, just to release my pent-up feelings, emotions and frustrations, not ever seeing it as a talent or indeed worthy of sharing.  About 15 months ago, something changed.  There was a spark of inspiration, and all my words that had been bottled up came flooding out.  It made me see how much I had missed doing it.

At the same time, I have always used my creative mind to make a variety of beautiful things, that only few people have seen.  I realised that it was all going to waste, or I was, because I had trapped myself in a bubble that wasn’t going to burst.  I initially posted on other poetry sites, but they were too limiting and gave little control or disappeared completely.  It was because of this that I was spurred on to create my new WordPress site, a place where I can showcase everything I do.

I would like to think that by having my site and sharing my written work elsewhere on social media, is an opportunity to be the voice of those that can only feel, but maybe cannot speak.  I am a great advocate for ‘saying it, as it is’, it’s personal and straight from the heart, and I am not afraid to write/speak of my own experiences.

I have suffered in silence for far too long, and swallowed down way too much pain inside; and even if I only touch or inspire one other person, then that makes me so happy!

  1. If I could combine any two super powers to become the ultimate hero or villain, what would they be and how I would utilise them in the modern world?

I would love to have the ability to be able to flit from one place to another and the power to make people visualise the bigger picture; to make them think twice before they act, so they can see the truth of their actions and enable change.

Attitudes have changed so much over the last 20 years, especially when it comes to how women and children are viewed.  Somehow, we became accepting of abuse, only being horrified when something hit the headlines, but now it is rife, and we’re no longer surprised by this kind of behaviour. In fact, in some cases we almost made to go as far as judging the victim first, asking if they possibly deserved it or bought it on themselves.  It is a sad state of affairs, and it is not only women and children, men get abused too, and unfortunately our poor animals also suffer.

I would like to use my powers to show people the real consequences of their thoughtless words, actions and behaviour toward another.  For them to actually see what happens – after, see the real impact they make, the lasting long-term damage and to feel the same pain they may have inflicted.

I know there are some genuinely cruel people in the world, but I would also like to think that most don’t actually intend to go and deliberately hurt someone, but in a fit of rage, anger or whatever, something snaps.

It would be a nice though to be able to step in, and make that person have a flash of the implications of their actions, making them think twice before they do what they’re intending on.

There are many things that seriously need addressing in our world today, social media, rather than bringing people together seems geared to causing conflict instead, and is just another tool to exploit and further reduce people.

I am assuming that I am the only one with these particular special powers, and there is an awful lot of work to do, but I’d like to think that I may get a sidekick or two to join me.  Sx ❤️

My questions are: 

  1. What was the first thing you ever wrote or produced and blogged for the first time, and why did you choose to blog it?
  1. What is number one on your bucket list, and how do you plan to go about getting there or have you got there already?
  1. What in life makes your blood boil or feel really angry?
  1. What has been the best day of your life so far and why?
  1. What about you in particular, would you like most to be remembered for when you pass?

I would like to nominate the following blogs for this challenge:

  1. https://thatsoulshit.wordpress.com
  2. https://franksolanki.com/author/franksolanki/
  3. https://chitkaladitosh.com
  4. https://ankandas.wordpress.com/
  5. https://cristianmihai.net
  6. https://vinzpoetry.wordpress.com/author/onyecheonyeka/
  7. https://grabbablog.wordpress.com/author/virtutecinerea/
  8. https://heartbeatingwings.wordpress.com/author/melbell10/
  9. https://yellowwolfenlightenment.wordpress.com
  10. https://deontetowner.com/

I thoroughly enjoyed writing this, it certainly gave me food for thought!

I hope my nominees will all gladly take part and keep this moving so we’re paying it forward!

So thank you in advance and I look forward to seeing your responses. ❤️

Sharon Carter-Wray

(Sat 2nd March 2019)

 

 

 

 

 

Letting go: 5. Happiness

Admittedly, it hasn’t all been doom and gloom this last year, there have been moments when I have felt so happy, nothing could touch me.  That happiness has come from different areas of my life, and it has spurred me on.

It is what I am ultimately seeking, a life that is calm, peaceful, nurturing and relatively stress free.  I don’t think it’s really too much to ask for, but in order to achieve it, I know that I must address the balance and rid myself of the negative factors first.

The first step to that, is to stop taking the responsibility or blame for other peoples’ actions, and to leave them where they belong.

It is also fundamental that I don’t accept people disrespecting me, because it leads to my disrespecting myself, which is definitely wrong on all levels.  As they say:

“Happiness is a state of mind, and not a destination”. 

So, I am going to promise myself that each day, I do something that makes me ‘feel good in my soul’, which can’t be a bad thing!

Sharon Carter-Wray

(31st December 2016)

 

Update:

I am surprised that this was such a short entry, but it was to the point.  I have felt some real differences in my day to day life, since I decided to shield or walk away from negative people and situations.   In spite of health not being on my side for most of the last 2 years, and having many emotional issues to deal with, I have battled on in search of this one thing.Find yourself

I am pleased to report that now at least my frame of mind is in a good place, and I would say quite whole-heartedly that I am happy.  I closed many doors at the end of last year, and I have since managed to somehow maintain this upbeat attitude and mindset since then.

I know that I still have anger within me, but I also know that I am right to feel that anger. 

I will no longer make excuses or be quick to forgive other peoples’ shortfalls, if they know, they should really know better.

After years of being made to feel worthless, I have finally realised my true worth, and no one can take that away from me.  Never again, will I allow anyone to make me question my own integrity or make me feel bad about who I am as a person.  Sx ❤️

Artwork by me: I am enough

Poetry: I keep that beast inside

(Tues 26th February 2019)

 

 

 

Give me one good reason

Give me one good reason

Why I shouldn’t have

Give up on you?

Turned my back, walked away

Started over anew?

Give me one good reason

Why I should still give my time

To listen as you share

Your woes and dreams

Even though you won’t hear

One word that I speak?

Give me one good reason

Why I should’ve spent my time

Living in your shadow

Being unnoticed and

Blocked by your shade

Because you couldn’t let me shine?

Give me one good reason

Why I should’ve stayed

When everything around

Told me to leave

Your silence may have quietly

Wanted me to remain

But it’s in your words and actions

That I truly believe?

Give me one good reason

Why I should’ve believed in you

While you still have so little

Faith in yourself?

You’re driven by a fury

There’s no room for anything else

Give me one good reason

Why I should’ve loved you

Laid myself out, bare on a plate?

You had your turn, you picked over me

Then pushed me to one side

You had my love once

And now it’s just too late

 

Sharon Carter-Wray

(Tues 26th February 2019)

Feeling blessed

I am thankful

For the small things in life

That make me happy

For every little thing

That makes me smile

I am even thankful

For the tears

That come to my eyes

Though they come

Not often

The power behind them

Is the same

It feels at last like things

Are going my way

I am thankful

My angels are guiding me

From up above

Still there, more than ever

Making me feel their love

When I was in a lost

And lonely place

They’re the reason

I kept this lovely smile

On my face

 

Sharon Carter-Wray

(Thursday 21st February 2019)

 

 

A long way from somewhere

Not sure quite where

I am heading

Or how long it

Was supposed to take

All I know is that

I’ve come a long way

And my soul still aches

 

I’m a long way from somewhere

A place, I’ve never been

Don’t know why I want to there

But it feels like where I belong

The road behind is dusty

My footprints laden by pain

Have all but gone

Swept up and away in a cloud

Never to be trodden again

 

I’m a long way from somewhere

Blinkers are off I can see the light

I sense the shadows of my joyless past

As they try to block my path

But like a true warrior I’m ready to fight

No more will they

Impede my stride

Or make my future look overcast

 

I’m a long way from somewhere

And I want to enjoy the ride

To not feel like a roller-coaster

So, I can relish the view

I want to see where I’m going

To not feel afraid

Make use of the solid foundation

My past has made

 

I’m a long way from somewhere

Not sure where I am

Of if from my path I have strayed

But wherever I am

I don’t want to look back

It is the right time

To be right here

And in spite of the hurdles

I’m still on track

 

Sharon Carter-Wray

(Wednesday 20th February 2019)

 

Threads of gold

There are times

When I sit alone

And I think of the life

I used to have

And the person

I used to be

Not the one

I have only recently

Just left behind

But what came before it

When I was still

Young and wild

With a head

Full of ambition

And so much drive

I wonder how

Or if

I have really changed at all

If I may be just

A bit tarnished

From the wear of time

And it’s bittersweet experience

That has left so many marks

Upon my skin

Having defaced

My body from within

Of trials and tribulations

I’ve had a few

That have marred my soul

Ripped me apart

Changed my point of view

And yet, here I still stand

Not entirely broken

Not exactly whole

But beat-up and bruised

With a patchwork of mending

Stitched by threads of gold

 

Sharon Carter-Wray

(Monday 18th February 2019)

 

 

 

Changing partners

Where is my perfect man?

We hunt

We chase

Making pairs

Is a never-ending craze!

We hide, we seek

We laugh, we weep

All in the name of love

Match making

Score taking

What kind of game

Is this that we play?

Engagement?

Marriage?

For me?

No way!

Filling my bed

Taking away my head

Wham! Bam!

Thank you Ma’am!

Yet another score!

Become a rated number?

No chance, not anymore!

You win some

You lose some

“Plenty more fish in the sea”

I’m done with fishing

They can try and catch me!

Monday, Tuesday

Every day it’s the same

It’s one hell of a joke

This mating game!

Sharon Carter-Wray

(26th January 1986)

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